Storm
by DeathTrapDaisy
Summary: Before him Steve was alone, after him Steve was reminded of that fact. :Capsicoul:


**Title:**** Storm.**

**Summary**: Before him Steve was alone, after him Steve was reminded of that fact.

:Capsicoul:

**Rating:** T

**Characters: **_Steve, Phil a little Tony and Fury._

**Pairings:** Capsicoul: _Phil/Steve_

**Slight Pairings**: _None to think of.__  
_**Genre: **_Tragedy, Romance, SongFic._

**Warnings: **Sad shit and major character death…

**A/N:** Was listening to Storm by Lifehouse and it reminded me of how Steve must've felt when Phil died (If they had been lovers) which in my universe yes then. Plus I'm in one of those moods so wanted to write something terribly depressing. You have been warned.

OOO

_How long have I been in this storm?_  
_So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form_  
_Water's getting harder to tread_  
_With these waves crashing over my head_

He was overwhelmingly alone when he had awoken from the ice, then the Avengers happened and he wasn't alone anymore.

Then there was Phil, friendly, smart, professional and then the adoration started at first Steve didn't know what to do with it but soon he learned Phil really was the only person that understood him.

Steve fell for him so fast he was really surprised at himself, Phil had become his first, his first _everything._

So you could imagine that words could not express the feeling in Steve's heart when he picked up those blood soaked trading cards, the blood of his biggest fan, his lover, his Phil.

Steve would not lose control in front of the others, he would keep himself together and remain professional. That's what Phil would have wanted.

Steve silently made his way into his own chambers after Tony had stormed out to gather himself, but all he could manage was to sit on his bed and cover his face in his palms and cry.

_If I could just see you_  
_Everything would be all right_  
_If I'd see you_ _  
__This darkness would turn to light_

Steve sobbed into his hands and grieved losing Phil, he had become his everything, his entire world.

He should've been there, he should've known he needed him, he could've saved him had he been there.

Phil could've lived.

He wouldn't have to be alone right now, Steve hated himself for being so selfish to only think about his happiness over Phil's.

Steve sat up straight wiped his eyes and decided with determination, Phil would be Avenged.

_And I will walk on water_  
_And you will catch me if I fall_  
_And I will get lost into your eyes_  
_And everything will be alright_ _  
__And everything will be alright_

The Avengers had done all that they could. Aliens were everywhere, the team was scattered across New York.

There was no hope, without a plan what could they do?

Steve took in a breath and knew something would have to give.

He looked up.

"Its you Steve, you're the one they need. You can lead them." Phil had said one night as they laid in bed the Avengers had a huge fight that day and Steve was in despair about it all but Phil believed in him and that's all that mattered.

Steve took charge of the situation and led the Avengers like he was meant to do all along.

_I know you didn't bring me out here to drown_  
_So why am I ten feet under and upside down_  
_Barely surviving has become my purpose_ _  
__Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface_

When Steve laid down that night alone, he closed his eyes and the first thing he saw was Phil's smiling face.

Steve's eyes welled with tears and the image he never wanted to forget had been ruined when blood poured over Phil's face, _so much blood_.

The wall his blood was smeared down haunted his dreams and even his thoughts while awake.

In his despair Steve covered his face in his hands, in his utter loneliness he was reminded of all he had gained simply to lose the one person he loved.

_If I could just see you_  
_Everything would be all right_  
_If I'd see you_ _  
__This darkness would turn to light_

That night those nightmares from his past were replaced with one much more painful, another failure, another loss. Steve was once again utterly alone.

Late in the night after Steve had wept and spent his last tear there was only one thing left to do.

Steve took his own life that night with a shot to the head from Phil's own gun.

_And I will walk on water_  
_And you will catch me if I fall_  
_And I will get lost into your eyes_  
_And I know everything will be alright_ _  
__And everything is alright_

The next day Steve's body was found with the pistol in one hand and those same bloody trading cards in the other.

No one understood why, no one ever would.

When Steve woke up he saw Phil in the after life, waiting for him.

Phil looked at him and reached out to take his hand, Steve took it, looked in his eyes and followed the only person he cared to live for anymore.

_Everything's alright_ _  
__Yeah, everything's alright_


End file.
